Australian University Marketing Graduates Urged to Take Drugs to Improve Marketing Messaging

A Senior Lecturer at the University of Winpega, South Australia, has urged businesses employing new Marketing Graduates from Australian Universities to give these graduates drugs. The urgent plea from Dr Jackson has been made to combat the ridiculous and boring 'calls to action' and 'marketing messaging' being seen on high streets around Australia.

'Obviously I am suggesting marijuana as a start, or perhaps one of those vaping things' said Dr Jackson. "We simply have to infuse the marketing messages being produced by these new marketing graduates with a bit more humour and spark. Where has the magic gone? I need to engage with the message. At the moment I just want to rip my eyeballs out".

Dr Jackson said the quality of messaging is falling by the day. I mean here is one I saw the other day on the High Street in Norwood, Adelaide. "20% less than Normal Industry Price". I mean, what the hell is that? I'm asleep with grandma's cat as soon as you mention Normal Industry Price, and I also have to work out what 20% of that is? OMG - people can't do maths anymore. 

And what is this one from National Pharmacies? "Where wonder meets wisdom" I am totally lost, said Dr Jackson. Maybe they actually did have some drugs but those drugs just sent them to la la land. "Where wonder meets wisdom" I think we just all wonder what the hell they are talking about. I'd whack a picture of Wonder Woman in there with a can of wisdom in her hand THAT would catch my eye and I'd head in and ask about a can of this wisdom stuff, find out there is a 2 for 1 deal this week and just start throwing my money at the checkout as they fill up my shopping bag with cans of Wonder Woman Wisdom".

May 2023 Update: THANK YOU Moe's Hotdogs for proving the idea in this blog. Not only did you take enough drugs to make a great advert, you also had something to eat when the munchies kicked in! 

Photo credit link: Roy Reyna - thanks Roy